Yes, Charlie Sheen’s character Charlie Harper on the show, “Two and a Half Men” is a spiritual guru. Mind you, no red wrist ribbons, no genuflecting to candles – unless they happen to be on a nightstand with the latest conquest(s!) on the bed beside. Despite his prodigious pursuits of drinking, gambling, and women, Charlie has shown an unusual tendency to be in touch with the Life Force Powers That Be. Here are 5 pearls of wisdom gleaned from the Drunken Bodhisattva:
1 – Trust in the Universe, and All will be Fine
I can’t believe this one myself but it’s true: Charlie has shown a strong propensity to do just that. An accomplished musician who doesn’t strive ambitiously to achieve more and more money – I mean, the guy already has a Malibu beach house! – Charlie doesn’t fear for his next job when his advert jingles income dries up, he just knows it’ll happen. And it does in the form of becoming a kiddie act named Charlie Waffles – purely by accident and much to the frustration of his brother Alan. Most of us are like Alan: worrying about a future which may or may not come to pass and all the time expending energy in circular anxiety such that we become paralysed. Charlie, on the other hand, will have no truck with that. But that could be down to the massive amounts of scotch he gulps.
2 – Accept Your Limitations and still be Happy
On this one, Charlie’s almost Taoist – in the Pooh sense. So many women in Charlie’s life – from his dates to his fiancee Mia to his mother Evelyn – have tried to change him to be something that he’s not, and a common theme has been around his lack of ambition. It’s just not his thing – and he’s okay with that. Moreover, he doesn’t care that others aren’t. In fact, the only woman in Charlie’s life that truly gets him is Berta, the housekeeper (but she’s getting paid, so…). If growing as a person means he needs to fashion a behaviour that isn’t natural to him, then our boy says, ‘The Hell with That’ and just chalks it up to limitations, not deficiencies that need to be addressed right away. In a word: Acceptance.
3 – Ask for forgiveness, not permission
It may seem counter-intuitive, but it’s actually a lot harder to apologise for what you do, and not who you are – because the former means you have to admit you are wrong, and then that Pride bugaboo can get in the way. But Charlie traffics in apology with deft insouciance. All you have to do is look at Alan to see where trying to make up to others what you are yourself can drive you into a neurotic mess which in the end pleases no one. Alan’s marriage to Judith seemed to consist solely of him trying to do whatever she wanted and still coming up short. There’s no way Charlie would allow this to happen to himself – he even broke up with Mia because of it. One of the few rules Charlie has is that he won’t be sorry about what he is, but he totally accepts that he does a lot of stupid, messed up junk which he’ll have to say ‘Sorry’ about later. And that suits him fine. And he teaches me that as long as you have a (relatively) good heart, then you can’t worry about pleasing everyone and asking permission to not upset the fruit basket. (Why ‘Fruit Basket Upset’ came into my head is beyond me…)
4- Family Is Important
Surprise, indeed. It’s interesting that just about all the relationships on ‘TaaHM’ are familial – including the extended variety. Charlie is the first in the Harper clan to embrace Judith’s new husband Herb as a drinking buddy, followed by – of all people – Alan. And while Charlie moans about Evelyn and his difficult childhood, he never seriously excludes her from his life: he tolerates and accepts her for the narcissistic non-mother that she is, while reserving the right to snark about it at his convenience. And of course, Charlie took Alan and his son Jake into his home after Alan’s divorce. But here’s the thing: Charlie’s wealthy enough to buy Alan a house outright, so on some level, Charlie wants Alan in his home, and wants to bond with Jake to make amends for not being the big brother Alan needed during their adolescence. We can say whatever we want about our family, but it seems no matter what, those ties are necessary to have in our daily lives. These bonds aren’t easy to walk away from: they’re ‘roots’ for a reason. You could spend a lifetime whining about how rough your childhood was, or you can choose to not be a broken baby anymore and just move on towards your destiny. Even if it’s at the bottom of a tequila bottle.
5 – Live free of judgment
Well, it is Charlie Sheen in the role – This last one’s kinda implied!
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